Friday, December 17, 2010

Things I think about while watching commercials

From Kolchak:

Does Flo ever leave that insurance supermarket? Can she leave? When I saw her making a simulated motorcycle ride, I started to wonder. Is she a hologram? A ghost?

Why are those animated bears so interested in toilet paper when they don’t seem to have bums?

Those Vikings in that credit card commercial are running their cards through the reader the wrong way. The logo is visible, which means (I think), that the magnetic strip isn’t going through the reader. Yeah, I realize that the point here is to make sure that the logo is visible, but it still bothers me. (Bloody Vikings).

Why are those animated shredded wheat squares trying to kill themselves? And why are they so happy about it? Is it some kind of cult thing? And don’t get me started on Charlie the tuna…

There’s a commercial for a smart phone—don’t ask me which one—that has a problem similar to the credit card spot. The commercial shows people manipulating hologram-like control panels, floating in the air, but all the words on the panels are presented so they can be read by us, not by the people actually using the phones.

Doesn’t chocolate Cheerios sort of defeat the purpose of Cheerios?

Why does that chain of fried-chicken restaurants keep insisting that it’s “Louisiana Fast”? From what I know about Louisiana, that isn’t something you want to brag about.

No wonder all those couples are having trouble having sex. They’re not even in the same bathtub, for crying out loud.

The humans in those “messin’ with Sasquatch” commercials are getting what they deserve.

There’s a commercial that starts with a musical number that I think is supposed to remind people of Mary Poppins. In an upper class British household, a butler tells the children in his care that they don’t need expensive toys. All they need is their imaginations. He then gives each of them Wii controllers and tells them how they can rent videos through their gaming system. Those two ideas belong in two different songs…maybe in two different universes.