Wednesday, March 23, 2005

from SFGate: Why Does God Hate Caribou?

Why Does God Hate Caribou?
Drill for oil and screw Alaska's wildlife? Why, sure, all part of the imminent Rapture!

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

God wants oil. This is the message. This is the belief. God wants more oil and also uranium and coal and iron and nuclear waste and whatever the hell else we want to pump into or out of this godforsaken lump of floating space rock. Word to the GOP.

In other words, God wants us, if the happily bleak and decidedly nasty interpretation of Bible verse currently extolled by the rabid evangelical mind-set now mauling the American political and social landscape is to be believed, to use up the Earth however we see fit and stomp all over this pointless ecological blob with our macho SUVs and manly tanks and badass army boots because it's all just one giant disposable sandbox o' fun anyway, right?

Hey, it's all part of the Master Plan to destroy the Earth and smite our enemies and hasten the arrival of the Rapture. Didn't you know?

We are all merely waiting until the Big Battle happens in Israel, the bloody clash between the True Believers and the Antichrist Heathens, to be followed immediately by Jesus gliding down on gilded wings made of fine Egyptian cotton and cheap American flags and wearing kickass robes of fire and ready to suck the true believers up to heaven through a giant Crazy Straw and wipe the whole goddamn secular slate clean. Right?

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